Backpipes are back, and Uber’s got the goods

If you’re one of those poor souls without a TV in the office; or if you would prefer to watch March Madness far, far away from the people you work with; or if you’re a degenerate gambler who doesn’t trust his/her fists around the conference room’s hollow oaken door — hunch into your monitor and read the below carefully.

We know you need a distraction tomorrow. Some grand happening to get everyone’s attention. Maybe the excitement spills over into a half-day. Maybe you slip out the back door. If so there’s no need to kill us. We didn’t see anything.

Point is we have it. This St. Patrick’s Day, Uber is bringing back their in-app Bagpipes option. Just enter the code BAGPIPES between noon and 4 p.m. and within minutes, a contingent of bare-legged Irishmen will be at your home or office, rife with smells of the homeland and the sweet sounds of exodus.

As William Wallace said: “Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.” Addendum: don’t rush your boss’s office.

Just slip out the back. We’ll see you at Clery’s.