Chris Evans tap danced on ‘Ellen’ — but more importantly — dished about Jenny Slate

Chris Evans, extant Captain America, and arguably the most charming dude-bro who ever lived, is making headlines this week for showing off his tap dancing skills on Ellen. Which is all well and good — but I think we’re all more interested in what he has to say about ex-girlfriend Jenny Slate.

Like, sure: I could tell you that Evans has been humble bragging about his “secret talent” for as long as anyone can remember. But I think you’d rather know that he spoke with PEOPLE and called Jenny Slate the following, ordered in increasing amount of heartwarmingness that will make you question all of your romantic decisions to date.

“She’s the best.”

“She’s incredibly compassionate.”

“She’s my favorite human.”

“It’s like an art form talking with her.”

“There’s just nothing to not love about her.”

“I’ve never ever met someone in my life who has a mastery of the English language the way she does.”

Yeah, I think the last one is the most romantic. Who doesn’t love a man who appreciates basic adherence to the style and principles of the English language?

Evans and Slate, both 35, met while filming the movie “Gifted,” which is why Evans is tap dancing around in the first place. They broke up because ultimately, they were too different.