Crunch Time: On Gerry Sandusky, Michael Bolton and Conor McGregor

The name game

In the classic film, Office Space, character Michael Bolton speaks out about his unfortunate name and disses the 90s love song singer who also bears it. “Why should I change (my name)? He’s the one who sucks!”

Much respect to those who were born with a horrible name, but refuse to take the easy way out.

Baltimore area sportscaster Gerry Sandusky (not to be confused with the Penn State child molester) has been ripped to shreds by people on Twitter in the past few days (and years).

In response to the social media hate, the good Gerry Sandusky tweeted, “To all who again invite me to spend eternity in hell, just a friendly reminder. I’m Gerry with a G – no relation to the former Penn State coach.”

Let’s now show some mercy to other real life people with unfortunate names: American indoor volleyball player Destinee Hooker, former International Olympic Committee member Dick Pound, Japanese volleyball player Yoshie Takeshita and civilians Jesus Condom and Moe Lester.

Peacemakers

So NBA commissioner Adam Silver and Michael Jordan spoke with Knicks owner James Dolan and Charles Oakley this week to help end Dolan and Oakley’s public dispute that boiled over last week at Madison Square Garden. The meeting worked, to a point. Dolan lifted his ridiculous ban on Oakley not being allowed at MSG, but Oakley is clearly still peeved.

“It’s not about being at the Garden,” Oakley told ESPN’s Jeff Goodman. “It’s about the fans. I want them to apologize to the fans. I told the commissioner I want them to apologize to the fans.”

Jordan was a part of the meeting because he’s friends with Oakley. In fact, he’s really the only real “Oak whisperer” on the planet.

Oakley told ESPN that he “respects Jordan to the fullest” but that he’s also his “own man.” Damn, Oak is the best.

As for Jordan, you’ve got to wonder how much cash Silver had to give “His Airness” to, in essence, be a glorified elementary school guidance counselor in this meeting. No way MJ did that for free.

Before the bell

It looks like this Conor McGregor – Floyd Mayweather match is really going to happen. The verbal sparring between the two loudmouth fighters before their match will be absolutely awesome as the unfiltered McGregor will no doubt bring up Mayweather’s disgusting domestic violence history. Unfortunately for everyone hoping to see Mayweather get his ass beat by McGregor in the actual match, they’re not going to get their wish. In other words, save your $100 (which is what the fight will likely cost on PPV) and just enjoy the sound bites beforehand.

The fight will be a boxing match, and McGregor – obviously – is an MMA fighter first and not a pure boxer. It’s a shame that this whole thing couldn’t be like a fighting Olympics. First match in a boxing ring. Second match in a UFC Octagon. Rubber match in a shark tank.

Instead, the scumbag Mayweather is going to mop the floor with McGregor, and we’ll all still have to pretend that “Money” is our generation’s Muhammad Ali.

NB-AARP

Nostalgia is a powerful emotion, in fact it’s THE emotion when it comes to sports fans. Team colors, the smell of hot dogs at the ballpark and the smell of stale beer at the ballpark all conjure up the best of memories.

Hip-hop icon Ice Cube is banking on nostalgia to move his new 3-on-3 basketball league forward, and he’s bet correctly … because there’s no way this thing doesn’t work so long as these guys actually show up and play. Here are some of the big names that are slated to participate in the league, which will tour American cities this summer: Allen Iverson, Latrell Sprewell, J.R. Rider, Chauncey Billups, Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, Kenny Anderson, Kenyon Martin, Stephen Jackson, Jermaine O’Neal, Bonzi Wells and Mike Bibby.

The old-timers games in baseball are always fun, but I’ve always wondered why this couldn’t work in basketball. Torn ACLs and sprained ankles be damned, this will be pure entertainment.