Some man attempted to call out Rihanna for being “fat” last week. Today he’s out of a job. And Rihanna is telling us all how she feels about it the best way she can — by meme, and by living her damn life.
Sportswriter Chris Sprags — who? — of Barstool Sports slammed Rih Rih for “enjoying that good room service a bit too long” and thus inspiring “all the hottest girls [to] look like the humans in ‘Wall-E.’” Yep, this dude is for real. Can you even imagine being a person who would take to the internet to criticize someone else’s body for no actual reason? I get criticizing a fluorescent wig, or the dumb words a celebrity says. But their body? Off limits, my dude.
Later in his article, Sprags warned his readers that “it’s time to worry if you’re not a guy who fancies himself a chubby chaser.” You can’t see my face right now but I’m having what I politely refer to as a “blackout rage stroke.” After dealing with the very predictable backlash of the post, Barstool Sports’ founder David Portnoy took down the article and suspended Sprags indefinitely. But in a statement, he said he only did it because Sprag’s post wasn’t funny enough. Ugh.
Anyway, Rihanna — who can be quite deliciously petty, but also knows when it’s not even about all that — took to her Instagram to post probably the greatest meme of our time.
Underneath a picture of a chubby Gucci Mane side-by-side with a slim Gucci Mane, her post read “If you can’t handle me at my 2007 Gucci Mane, you don’t deserve me at my 2017 Gucci Mane.” I love her.
She also showed up to Miami on Tuesday to shoot a music video shamelessly showing off her figure. Her pants? Skin tight, and also doubling as boots somehow. Her top? Giving me chicest peasant on the farm, except all the way transparent. And you know what? Despite all rhyme or reason, she is really working it, okay?
Take that random dude who is now out of a job. Don’t mess with Rih Rih.
