Julien Blanc: You’re not a pick-up artist, you’re a predator

Dear Julien:

I’ve been reading about your latest exploits in Australia. Looks like your “Pick-Up Artistry” got a little messy, eh? Your hotel cancelled your “event”… but I can’t say I’m surprised. You aren’t teaching men how to meet women. You are teaching men how to bullsh*t and coerce women into sleeping with them. In essence, you are cloning you—a pathetic, empty, shell-of-a-man.

It might work for you that some women think you’re interesting/attractive enough hit the bedroom quickly, but let’s get something straight: You’re not a quality man. You don’t have game. You aren’t a catch. You have simply learned (and are now showing other men) how to lie effectively enough to manipulate a woman into bed. It’s stated clearly on your website: You teach men how to “short-circuit a woman’s emotional and logical mind,” which would be laughable if it weren’t so pathetically sad. It’s pathetic on your part for pretending that lying to get laid makes you a man, and sad for the women who are your victims—pawns in your ceaseless quest to find your sense of masculinity.

You are one of the current poster children for Real Social Dynamics (RSD), the Pick-Up Artist consortium that claims to “teach men how to attract women.” But you and I both know that’s bullsh*t, don’t we? You and RSD don’t teach men tips for confidence, attraction or finding love—and respect is a word that is clearly not in your vocabulary. You teach men how to lie. You teach men how to manipulate. You teach men how to pretend to be confident. You teach men how to use women as their personal masturbation device, and then move on to a new woman like a 13-year-old little boy with a perpetual hard-on. What you “teach” is make-believe. But now, you’ve upped your level of pathetic douchebaggery, haven’t you? In your latest “workshops,” it now seems you are also teaching sexual assault.

A man “picking up a woman” by pulling her head to his crotch isn’t just abusive; it’s also a felony. It’s sexual assault in the purest sense of the word. It’s men like you that make good men look bad. You walk around thinking you are doing good in the world, and proclaim to show men what it means to be masculine. What many people don’t realize is that in addition to preying on women, you’re also preying on the men you claim to teach.

Before I wrote this letter, I connected with three of your “buddies” in RSD (on the condition that I keep them anonymous). They started the conversation by singing your praises, but I wasn’t as concerned with their opinion of you today… I wanted to know why they contacted you in the first place, and I wasn’t surprised with their answers. These men—like countless others—are men who come to you are looking for answers. Many of them are men who have been shunned by women for the whole of their adult lives. Some were bullied in middle school, and others are unsure of how to approach someone of the opposite sex without being laughed at. They are terrified of rejection and afraid of being vulnerable enough to show who they really are—lest they get their hearts and psyches stomped on like they did when they were kids. And what do you do? You prey on their insecurities and train them on “techniques” that provide false sense of confidence. And in your latest seminars, you are showing them how to act like an abuser. As such, these men go out and hurt women before they get hurt themselves.

In short: You and your cohorts are taking good men who are just afraid of being hurt and teaching them to become predators. And the women who cross paths with of one of your self-proclaimed disciples can end up in worse condition. A woman who goes home with a dating predator will (of course) regret her actions—questioning her intuition, and wondering why his lies didn’t ring up a 10.8 on her Bullsh*t-o-Meter. But her future can actually be worse then her initial experience. She could end up believing that all men will treat them this way. As I’m sure you know, if you hurt someone deeply enough, they will lash out and hurt others—kind of like you are doing. Which makes me wonder…

Were you picked on as a kid? Did you find yourself in powerless situations—bullied and hurt like the men in your stead—and now you have decided that you will hurt others as some kind of payback to those that hurt you? Instead of hurting women—and teaching other men the same—why not teach something positive? I’ll tell you why: It’s because you are emotionally bankrupt. You are afraid of rejection and terrified someone will figure out the confident man you pretend to be is actually just a façade. And now you are showing others with fragile self-esteems how to follow in your footsteps.

The irony is that men like you always learn later that treating women like sh*t, lying and sleeping with as many as possible is an effort stroke your own ego and validate your masculinity… and to do that, you are forced to find new women constantly because:

They figure out your true intentions quickly and move on;

You are afraid of getting too close to any woman due to your fear that she’ll find out that you are emotionally vacant;

You’re insecure in yourself as a man and you are counting on external validation to bolster your fragile self-esteem. In essence, you are outsourcing your masculinity and self-validating by ensuring a woman will find your line of bullsh*t compelling enough to allow you to have sex with her.

I might feel bad for you… if it weren’t for the emotional destruction and confusion you leave in your pathetic wake.

This story was originally posted on Yourtango.com.

Charles J. Orlandois relationship expert and author of the bestselling book series “The Problem with Women… is Men®.” Find out more about Charles on hiswebsite, or visit him onFacebookfor real-world love advice.