I’m going to tell you a story about Justin Bieber, and you’re going to tell me whether or not you think it’s true. Let’s begin!
There once was a young man named Justin Bieber. The 23-year-old was a teenage singing sensation from Canada that the girls just couldn’t get enough of. But as he got older, more tattooed, he grew more troubled. Not knowing the basic skill of bottling up his emotions like a regular person, he took his feelings in a variety of kind of bad behavior: crashing ATVs, not bothering to hide the marijuana on his tour bus, attempts at headbutting people. Just your usual stuff.
But when it came down to it, Young Bieber was a hit maker. He was a singer and a major celebrity. He indulged in his comfortable life of the rich and famous because what was he going to do? Not indulge? Come on, that’s crazy.
But there was one time in particular where he kind of went overboard. A brave Mumbai based music journalist, Arjun S. Ravi, shared the details of Young Bieber’s India tour rider. And although a tour rider has never made anyone look good, per se, this one filled people across the world with a chilly terror.
His demands were frighteningly masturbatory. Young Bieber requested a spcial Indian Yoga Casket containing aromatic essential oils, a variety of incense sticks, and books on chakras and yoga asanas because he just loooooves yoga. Also, he demanded that a licensed female masseuse be flown in from Kerala for his personal use over the course of four days. Oh, and he absolutely had to have a jacuzzi to assist him in unwinding before taking to the stage.
Young Bieber would not deign to use the roads of India, like other international artists and, you know, just regular people; instead, he demanded a chopper to deliver him straight into the stadium.
5 dishes were to be cooked per day but Young Bieber would only touch them after they were renamed after his popular songs.
Lilies were absolutely not permitted.
But the worst part? He demanded sliced white bread be readily available backstage at all times. Because you can take the man out of Canada, but you can’t take the basic out of a basic ass dude.
(Oh, yeah. It’s all true.)
