Another day, another report of a pseudo celebrity pissing their pants and blaming a coffee chain that doesn’t owe said celebrity the right to pee in their damn store, anyway.
Over the weekend, Kelly Osbourne was celebrating the Pride Parade in New York City. Which is lovely! She hung out with Sam Smith, confirming that yes, he is still around!
As she was marching, she found that her bladder had filled to the tippy top — that’s how bladders work, right? — and she attempted to do what any other person would do. She went to Starbucks to take a leak. Only, according to Osbourne herself, the employees at said Starbucks refused to let her use the bathroom. So she did what any other psuedo celebrity would do: She tweeted about it with little to no context.
SHAME on U @Starbucks #PissedMyOwnPants in this location because UR shameful employees refused to let me use the ? I have piss in my shoe ?? pic.twitter.com/scVsNAUh10
— Kelly! (@KellyOsbourne) June 26, 2017
“SHAME on U @Starbucks #PissedMyOwnPants in this location because UR shameful employees refused to let me use the [toilet emoji] I have piss in my shoe [middle finger emoji]”
Creative use of hashtags and emojis, Kel!
But also? Turns out that location doesn’t even have a toilet, so Osbourne is horribly, terribly wrong — and it’s really her own fault for getting urine in her shoe.
A spokesperson for Starbucks (of course) tells Vulture as much. “We are working to follow up with Ms. Osbourne to clarify any confusion. There simply is no restroom in this store, and inquiring customers are typically directed to a store a few blocks away. We sincerely apologize for any misunderstanding and hope to welcome Ms. Osbourne back for a beverage on us very soon!”
Hear that Kelly? You get a damn free beverage. Now just ask yourself: Was it worth it?
Follow Rachael Vaughan Clemmons on Twitter — @rachaelclemz
