Our theories about J. Lo and Drake

The latest piece of gossip from the rumor mill is that Jennifer Lopez and rapper Drake are dating. According to Entertainment Tonight, they had dinner together at the West Hollywood restaurant Delilah, on Monday evening, and last week Drake posted a selfie of the pair with a heart-eye emoji underneath it. This is the kind of rumor that should excite us — two huge celebs hooking up — but it just doesn’t. 2016 has already been taxing enough without having to wrap our heads around such an unlikely couple. So we’re offering some alternative theories on what’s going on.

J. Lo is staging an elaborate Marc Anthony distraction. If you’ll recall, J. Lo gave her ex husband a smooch onstage at the Latin Grammy’s, and less than a week later he and his current wife announced their separation. J. Lo is clearly getting back with her ex but wants to avoid taking the blame for Marc Anthony’s divorce. Thinking quick on her feet she cozied up to the first unsuspecting, but eligible, bachelor to show up to her Las Vegas residency, Drake.

Meanwhile, Champagne Papi still spends his nights writing texts to Rihanna that he never sends because she still hasn’t responded to the one from a month ago. He thinks being spotted out with J. Lo will catch Rihanna’s attention. He’s wrong.