It’s official, maybe. Yay?
I said it before, and now it’s official: Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix are for real, for real.
Related: Kate Mara and Jamie Bell confirm engagement
The Daily Mail has exclusive pictures of the eccentrically named duo running errands together — and I mean, you don’t let paps just photograph you with paper bags in your arms unless you mean it. The two actors supposedly started a romance on the set of “Mary Magdalene,” a film that is unironically being referred to as a biblical epic. What do those words together even mean? Phoenix is playing the role of Jesus, and Mara is playing the titular role of Mary Magdalene which, again, why? Have we not exhausted the white savior trope in film and television? I thought we were done with that, but I guess not. Related: Beyoncé announces that she’s having TWINS!
So what shall we call then? Roonquin? Joaquiney? I mean, if a couple can’t be named, there’s no way they can stay together. I just wish celebrity couples would think about these things before getting together, you know? Save us all a lot of trouble.
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