#TheWord: Scarlett Johansson got married two months ago, guys

“Avengers” star Scarlett Johansson managed to pull off the ultimate celebrity achievement: the secret wedding. She and Romain Dauriac reportedly tied the knot Oct. 1 in Philipsburg, Montana, less than a month after the birth of their daughter — and no one in the press caught on about it, according to Page Six. “They kept the wedding a big secret because they both wanted privacy,” says a source with a firm grasp for the obvious. Johansson started introducing Dauriac as “my husband” at the Gotham Awards earlier this week, and Dauriac was spotted wearing a wedding ring in early October and Johansson had one on in public last month, so really this one’s on us for not catching it earlier.

Christian Bale is a big fan of privacy and not a big fan of tabloids. But you know what he’s also not a big fan of? Fellow celebrities complaining about privacy and the tabloids. Bale tells the Wall Street Journal that George Clooney — whom Bale concedes is “a movie star” — needs to pipe down when it comes to the invasive press. “It’s boring, isn’t it? You know what I mean?” Bale says. “It doesn’t matter that he talks about it. It’s like, come on, guys, just shut up. Just get on with it and live your lives and stop whining about it. I prefer not to whine about it.” Duly noted. Oh, and don’t expect him to re-team with “Terminator Salvation” director McG again anytime soon. “There’s a lot of room for many approaches and many characters within the film industry,” Bale says. “I won’t be working with him again, but I wish him very well. OK?” And that is what Bale being diplomatic sounds like.

Guys, seriously. Cut it out. Reese Witherspoon is totally not America’s sweetheart. “I certainly don’t self-identify as anyone’s sweetheart,” she tells Glamour magazine. “I’m friendly, but I don’t think I’m sweet. I’m honest.” Yeah, but come on. That’s totally something America’s sweetheart would say.

Want to own a piece of movie history? Well good news, because Burt Reynolds is looking to get rid of some stuff. His 1978 black Trans Am from the “Smokey and the Bandit” films is going up for auction next month along with a bunch of beauties from the Wellborn Muscle Car Museum. This item in particular, personally owned by Reynolds, features portraits of his film alter ego embroidered into the headrests, a CB radio and the personalized license plate “BANDT22.” Just don’t expect cops to look the other way if you’re going even a little too fast.

The late night talk show host circuit is still an exclusively white male club, but we can at least pretend it’s more diverse, right? NBC has tapped “Gilmore Girls” alum Lauren Graham to star in “Kate on Later,” a comedy series in development focusing on the foibles of the first female late-night host. The show is being overseen by Ellen DeGeneres’ A Very Good Production company. Hey, it’s something, right?

As a part of the annual tradition, the Killers record a new holiday-themed single to benefit the RED campaign. This year, they teamed up with Jimmy Kimmel for a rather unorthodox tune called “Joel, the Lump of Coal” that tells a new Santa-adjacent Christmas tale. And according to Kimmel, it “may very well be the greatest holiday song recorded by non-chipmunks.” If you want to ignore the Kimmel stuff and go right to the song itself, skip to the 5:08 mark. Brandon Flowers in a light-up Christmas sweater is quite a treat in and of itself. Even as a joke, the song is catchy as hell.