We imagine how a mortal RiRi would spend a Saturday

On Satuday, some clips of Rihanna being totally mortal and riding the New York Subway surfaced online. She was shooting a scene with Sarah Paulson for their upcoming flick, “Ocean’s Eight.” It got us thinking, what would a “normal” weekend look like for Bad Gal RiRi? ~cue dream sequence music~

Robyn Fenty wakes up around 11:30a.m. — not because she’s lazy but because she was probably on set until around 3 a.m. She lights a joint. She’s a millennial so she lurks on social media before getting out of bed. She won’t post a single thing, and if she likes a pic, it’ll be one from a random, make-up artist in Dallas wearing a Rihanna t-shirt. At around 1 p.m. her roommate/BFF Melissa will order a pizza. Even Rihanna enjoys pizza every once in a while. They share a joint. After catching up on “Love & Hip Hop,” she mistakenly sends Drake a “miss u” text meant for her mom. He texts back immediately. She doesn’t respond. She rolls a joint. At around 5 p.m. she decides to get cute and have dinner in Soho. She takes 413 selfies. She’ll post one of them in about 6 weeks. She smokes another joint and heads out the door. Paparazzi snap a picture of her outfit and we collectively wish we were her.

During the uber ride home, she gets a text from Taylor Swift to have drinks with her #squad. She blocks her. #teamkaty